Sunday, April 25, 2010

Notes to myself

The bruises have almost faded. I want to remember them. The ones on my legs from holding you as I tried in vain to spoon water into you. The one on my foot from moving. The one in my heart will never heal.


I made yellow jello for you. You had two spoonfuls.

I bought your favorite candy for you. I was saving it for Easter. You left on Palm Sunday. I hope you found those sugary citric pieces. I threw them to the wind.

Every time I tried to kiss you aside from a brush of lips, you laughed. You had no control over your emotions after the stroke. No poker face, no stopping your tears. Depression and paranoia were your friends.

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